How to Describe Period Pain (to a Doctor, a Partner or a Boss)

To describe period pain, say three things: what it feels like (cramping, stabbing, burning, pulling or pressure), where it is, and what it stops you doing. A number from 0 to 10 helps only when you add what that number means for your day, for example: "It was an 8. I lay curled up on the sofa and could not work."

The same three things work for a doctor, a partner and a boss. What changes is how much detail each person needs. This guide gives you a word bank, a pain scale based on what you can and cannot do, and a one-line script for your doctor.

Why the words matter

Nobody can feel your pain for you. The International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) defines pain as "an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience." It also says that pain is always a personal experience, and that "a person's report of an experience as pain should be respected" (IASP).

Doctors in England have the same advice. The NICE guideline on endometriosis tells them to take into account that each person's pain is unique, and that people express it in different ways, with words and without them (NICE NG73). So you are allowed to sound calm and still be in severe pain.

Clear words also save time. In a study of 1,418 women across ten countries, the delay from the first symptoms to a surgical diagnosis of endometriosis was 6.7 years on average. Most of that delay was in primary care (Nnoaham et al.). A doctor who hears a clear, specific description has more to act on at the first visit.

The one-line template for your doctor

If you only have one sentence, use this one:

My period pain is [kind of pain] in [where]. On [which days] it is a [number] out of 10, and it stops me from [what you cannot do]. [What you tried] does not help.

Here is a filled-in example:

My period pain is cramping and stabbing, low in my belly and down my left thigh. On the first two days it is an 8 out of 10, and it stops me from going to work. Ibuprofen at the dose on the pack does not help.

Then add one more line that asks for action: "I want to find out what is causing this." The sections below help you fill in each blank.

A word bank for period pain

The McGill Pain Questionnaire is a list of pain words that doctors and researchers have used since 1975. Patients pick the words that fit their pain. The words fall into three main groups: sensory words (how the pain feels in the body), affective words (how it makes you feel) and evaluative words (how bad it is overall) (Melzack, 1975). The same three groups give you a simple way to build your own description.

Words for how the pain feels in your body

Word	What it feels like	Say it like this
Cramping	A squeeze that tightens, holds, then lets go, often in waves	"It cramps in waves every few minutes."
Stabbing	A sudden, sharp pain in one spot, like a knife	"I get stabbing pains on my right side."
Burning	Heat or stinging, sometimes on the skin or inside	"There is a burning pain deep in my pelvis."
Pulling or dragging	A downward tug, as if something is being pulled	"It feels like my insides are being pulled down."
Pressure or heaviness	A full, heavy weight low in the pelvis or the bottom	"There is heavy pressure, like a weight in my pelvis."
Aching	A dull, steady pain that does not stop	"A dull ache in my lower back all day."
Throbbing	A pain that beats like a pulse	"It throbs with my heartbeat."
Shooting	A pain that travels fast along a line, often down a leg	"It shoots down the back of my leg."

Use more than one word if more than one fits. Many people have a steady ache with stabbing pains on top. Say that. A research group that set standard questionnaires for endometriosis studies (WERF EPHect) notes that endometriosis can cause pain in more than one way, including nerve pain. Their standard questionnaire includes a short form of the McGill questionnaire to ask about the kind of pain (Vitonis et al.).

Words for how the pain makes you feel

Exhausting. Sickening. Frightening. Overwhelming. These words are not a sign of weakness. They tell the listener how the pain affects you. The IASP definition of pain includes this emotional side as part of the pain itself (IASP). If the pain makes you feel sick, faint or scared, say so plainly.

Words for where and when

Point to the place, or name it: low in the middle of the belly, one side, the lower back, the thighs, the bottom, the vagina. Our map of where period cramps are felt shows which places are common and which need a check.

Then say when. Before bleeding starts, on the heaviest days, all through the period, in the middle of your cycle, or on days with no period at all. Also say if it hurts deep inside during or after sex, or if it hurts to poo or pee around your period. NICE lists these pains among the symptoms that should make a doctor suspect endometriosis (NICE NG73).

The 0 to 10 scale, described by what it stops you doing

Endometriosis research uses a 0 to 10 scale, where 0 is no pain and 10 is the worst pain you can imagine (Vitonis et al.). The problem is that one person's 6 is another person's 9. A number means more when you tie it to your day.

This matters for a medical reason too. NICE lists period pain that affects daily activities and quality of life as a symptom that should make a doctor suspect endometriosis (NICE NG73). So tell your doctor what the pain stops you doing, and give the number as well.

From left to right: going about the day; working but distracted; lying down with a heat pad; curled up and unable to work; unable to get up.

Here is one way to match the numbers to your day. It is a plain-language guide to help you talk about your pain. It is not a medical test.

Number	What the pain lets you do
0	No pain.
1 to 3	You notice it, but you go about your day as usual.
4 to 5	You can work or study, but the pain is always on your mind and you get less done.
6 to 7	You have to stop and lie down, often with a heat pad. Chores wait.
8 to 9	You are curled up, you cannot work, and it is hard to talk or think.
10	You cannot get up. You may vomit, faint or need help to move.

Give two numbers: your usual level and your worst level. "Usually a 4, but a 9 on the first day" tells a doctor far more than "about a 6."

How to describe period pain to a doctor

Before the appointment

Keep a record for two or three cycles. NICE says doctors should tell people with suspected or confirmed endometriosis that a pain and symptom diary can help the discussion (NICE NG73). Our guide to a pain diary for your doctor explains what to track.
List what you have tried. Write down each painkiller, the dose, and whether it helped. Add heat pads, the pill or other treatments.
Ask your family. NICE tells doctors to ask whether a parent, brother, sister or child has endometriosis, because that makes it more likely (NICE NG73).
Write your one line. Use the template above, and bring it on paper or on your phone.

In the room

Start with your one line, before the doctor asks anything. Then give the facts about your worst day, not your average day. If the pain has changed over the years, say how.

Tell the doctor about the other effects too. If your periods make you anxious or low, or you stop seeing friends, that is part of the picture.

These lines can help if the talk goes off track:

If you feel dismissed: "I know some cramping is normal. This is different, because it stops me from living my life. I want to find out what is causing it."
If you want a specific test: "My symptoms and my records make me worried about endometriosis. What are the next steps to test for it?"
If the doctor suggests waiting: "I have tracked this for months and it is not getting better. What can we do today?"
If you want a specialist: "I would like a referral to a specialist in pelvic pain or endometriosis."

Questions to ask

What could cause pain this severe?
What tests do you recommend, based on my history?
What are the side effects of the treatment you suggest?
How will we know if the treatment works?
What is the next step if it does not help?

If a doctor still does not listen, read our guide to medical gaslighting and endometriosis. It covers the phrases that signal dismissal and what to do next. For the steps to a diagnosis, see how to get diagnosed with endometriosis.

How to explain period pain to a partner (or a man)

A partner does not need the medical detail. They need to know what you feel and what you need from them.

Is there a male equivalent of period pain? No study has measured one. The womb is a muscle, and cramps come from that muscle tightening (why cramps happen). There is no organ in a male body that does the same thing every month. Any comparison is a picture to help someone imagine it, and it is not a measurement.

If a picture helps, try this one: "Think of a cramp in your calf that you cannot stretch out. Now put it low in your belly, and have it come back in waves for hours or days." Then move to facts the other person can see for themselves, such as what the pain stops you doing. The scale above works well here. "Today is a 7, so I need to lie down" is clear and hard to argue with.

Be specific about what helps:

"Please take over dinner tonight."
"Can you bring me the heat pad and some water?"
"I need to cancel our plans. It is not about you."
"Please do not tell me it is just a period."

The IASP says pain is always a personal experience, and that each person learns what pain means from their own life (IASP). A partner who has never had period pain has no memory to compare it with. That is why the concrete words work better than asking them to imagine it. For more ideas, see explaining endometriosis to partners and family.

Is period pain as painful as a heart attack?

You may have seen the claim that period pain can be as painful as a heart attack. It traces back to one quote.

In February 2016, the news site Quartz quoted John Guillebaud, a professor of reproductive health at University College London. He said patients had described the cramping pain as "almost as bad as having a heart attack." Quartz first reported the quote as "as bad as" and later corrected it to "almost as bad" (Quartz).

So the claim is what patients told one doctor. The article did not cite a study that compared the two kinds of pain, and we did not find one. The honest version is this: some people's period pain is severe enough that they reach for the worst pain they can think of.

For you, this means the comparison is a weak tool in a clinic. A doctor can argue with a comparison. It is much harder to argue with "I could not get out of bed for two days, and ibuprofen did nothing."

How to tell your boss or school

You do not have to share your diagnosis or your symptoms with an employer. Keep it short and practical. Say how the pain affects your work, and say what would help.

I have a health condition that causes severe pain on some days each month. On those days I may need to work from home or start late. I will let you know as early as I can.

Pain can cost work time even when you are at your desk. In the ten-country study, women with endometriosis lost an average of 10.8 hours of work each week. Most of that loss came from working less well, and less of it from time off (Nnoaham et al.). The "working but distracted" level on the scale is real, and it is fair to say so.

Your rights at work depend on where you live. Our guide to working with endometriosis covers the changes you can ask for and how to ask.

Keep a record so your words have proof

Your words carry more weight when they come with dates. A short daily note is enough:

What the pain felt like, using the word bank.
Where it was.
Your usual and worst number, and what it stopped you doing.
The day of your cycle.
What you took, and whether it helped.

Endolog is a pain and symptom diary for this. You log the pain, where it is and how bad it is, with notes from that day. Over a few cycles, the record shows your doctor the pattern, so you do not have to rely on memory in a short appointment.

If your pain is sudden and severe, or you feel faint, or you could be pregnant, get medical help right away. Our map of period pain lists the red flags.

Frequently asked questions

How do I describe my period pain?

Say what it feels like, where it is, and what it stops you doing. For example: "Cramping and stabbing, low in my belly, an 8 out of 10 on day one, and I could not go to work."

How do I explain period pain to a man?

Use concrete facts before comparisons. Tell him what the pain stops you doing today and what you need from him. If a picture helps, compare it to a muscle cramp that you cannot stretch out, which comes back in waves for hours.

What is period pain equivalent to for a man?

No study has measured a male equivalent. Comparisons, such as the claim about a heart attack, are ways to help someone imagine it. They are not measurements. What the pain stops you doing is a clearer way to show how bad it is.

How do I describe pain to a doctor?

Use the one-line template: the kind of pain, where it is, which days, the number from 0 to 10, what it stops you doing, and what you have tried. Bring a written record of two or three cycles.

What number is period pain on the pain scale?

It depends on the person and the day. Give two numbers, your usual and your worst, and say what each one stops you doing. Pain that stops your daily activities is a reason to see a doctor.

This article is for general information. It does not replace care from a doctor. If you think you have an emergency, call 911 in the US, or 999 in the UK.